Driving from Atlanta to Asheville or vice-a-versa is usually a breeze.
My drive yesterday was like a scene out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. I was hanging at my friend Jon Weiner’s studio in Atlanta and when it was time to depart, I decided to take a different route back up the mountain. Usually, I rely on my friendly GPS that I lovingly call Carmen. She navigates me through unchartered territory. She is a Garmin and Carmen is a good name for her. I just wish that I could program a different voice to shout out directions to me. I would love to have Whoopi Goldberg, tell me “Yo sister you best be taking the next left.” Or a British Chap giving me directions, ” It would be jolly of you to take a bloody right.” That would be so rad, but instead I have the default computer woman’s voice. Oh well. To my dismay, Carmen did me wrong last night. I was traversing through some heavy, heavy rains on highway 985 and then highway 52, Things starting getting sour when Carmen led me down Cemetery Road and the fog was hanging so low. I felt like I was driving through Transylvania. It was so eerie. There were no street lights just fog and darkness. At this time I blasted my Fats Waller CD to keep things Jazzy Fresh and the general mood light. The music helped me because I was about to have a freak out trying to find 85 North or 441 through the Nanahala Gorge.

Fats Waller is the man
When I am behind the wheel, I have more creative juices oozing out into overdrive. Numerous thought bubbles float within the walls of my Honda CRV.

I am on creative overdrive while zippin down our nations highways
I have so many mental to do lists and I think about what my next album is going to be called, I think about when do we kickstart the next Snake Oil recording, what song do I want to make on our first music video, what is my next painting going to be, what is a good idea for my next blog, etc…..

Driving in my CRV on some backroads
Okay Caroline, get back to the story. My little Honda found its way through the back roads of Homer, Georgia where I saw a sign that read Home of the Largest Easter Egg Hunt. That sounds like a lot of fun. I want Snake Oil to do a gig there.
Somehow, after a long time driving through foggy back roads, I finally ended up in familiar grounds. Highway 85 is where I found myself and I was definately on the home stretch. Don’t ask me how I got there but I did. I decided to stop at a rest area to use the facilities. As I was getting out of the car, this man came from out of nowhere and approached me and he asked me if I could help him. I immediately had my guard up because I have gotten so burned in the past. So I politely said I had to use the restroom and I briskly scooted off. While I was in the restroom there were 3 ladies in a row wearing burkas and they had there faces covered up with a cloth. There eyes met mine and I gave them a nod and a smile. I respect those women so much.

A Lady in a burka
I am so interested why they feel like they have to cover up here in America. Anything goes here in the States. But I totally have to respect their culture. I feel like these women should have nothing to hide.
After leaving the bathroom, that same man was waiting for me outside and he asked for the second time for my help. Again, I told him that I was very sorry and I immediately ran to my car. I do not mean to not lend my fellow kind a hand, but I just felt like it was not safe. It was very suspicious. He could have been harmless, but I just could not take the chance. As I was driving off, I peered in my rearview mirror and I saw him approach other travelers in their cars. I immediately called 911 to get the cops to help him. I felt like that might be a better thing. You just never know. I wish the world was different but I have to be on my pees and cues. Perhaps, rest areas are not that safe at night and I need to go other places to go to the ladies room. Luckily I do not travel alone all the time and I am with my friends or a touring band.
So this 3 hour tour ended up being 6 hours. I had to pull over in Greenville, South Carolina because the rain was so heavy I could not see 2 feet in front of me. So I took a nice long break and had a Tiny Heineken and a bag of chips. Yes a tiny Heine and a bag of chips.
I am home safe from my Atlanta tour and what a glorious Sunny Sunday it is. That’s if for now….